Today's blog is about the things in my own life that God has both given and taken away. "Though not every physical ailment gets put back together, bearing those crosses opens us to God’s presence. Every time we experience injury and loss, Christ invites us to live without fear, without closing our eyes. Even if things do not go back to “normal,” honest dialogue with God about our weakness brings wholeness that transcends disease." [intouch.org] In my talks with God during my physical losses, He still encourages me to not only live well, but fully.
As a baby during child development, I was normal in my growth and progress. I began walking, just as others did at my age. At age 5, my right foot began turning in and falling became a too frequent incident. After seeing orthopedic doctors, I began wearing corrective shoes that led to AFO leg braces. God granted me the gift of walking, although not flawless, till I was in my mid-twenties. God didn't give me a sit-on-the-sidelines kind of spirit, but one of a do-what-you-can while you can spirit. My childhood included bike riding, rollerskating, dodgeball, jump rope and more. My braces weren't an excuse to do less, but a supporter to do more.
My voice is a symptom of vocal cord paralysis. Therefore, my voice has never been 'strong' but as my disease is progressive, so has my voice weakened. In my early twenties, I felt my voice was a thorn in me, like Paul, and I pleaded for it to be better thru surgery. As with Paul, God said to me too, "“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” My surgeries made me significantly weaker, but did not destroy me. I began wearing sleep breathing aids in 1992, but only began wearing them during the day around 2005. One might say that my voice did improve in 2011, when I began this blog, angie's that's that. God does work in mysterious ways.
God gave me the physical strength and ability in life to accomplish all of my dreams and goals. One might assume by looking at my physical state now, that my life has been small or not full of my expectations. That false assumption couldn't be further from the truth. I have done more in and with my life than many able bodied individuals. I've completed college, been married and divorced, worked at my dream job for 5 years, traveled far and wide, and developed countless friendships along the way. When my strength began to fail me, God didn't forsake me or leave me alone. Instead, he provided me with a strong support staff to help me accomplish my daily desires. Since my life has become less independent and more dependent on others, I see that my life is more God-focused and my abilities are used more for his glory.
This blog is in no way meant to boast about me, but is meant to show how God both gives and takes but never forsakes his children. What I consider earthly loss, I also consider more of an eternal gain. "For when I am weak, then I am strong." God has taught me how to live well, while dying with a progressive disease. Thank God that I was not only elected and chosen by him, but also that I freely accepted his gift of salvation.
If you are struggling with loss, illness, or pain, I pray that you seek and trust in God's bigger plan and purpose for your life. God sent his Son so that you may be set free and live life to the fullest. Turn your own weaknesses into a learning benefit for yourself and others. May God get the glory in all things from our lives.
