''Listen not merely to what is said but to the tone of voice in which it is said.''
This may be one of those blogs that requires you to wear steel-toed boots.
The tone of our voice is quite revealing as to what our temperment is at the moment. You can say the exact same thing verbatim but it can have quite a different meaning with different tones. ''Will you take out the trash?'' or ''WILL YOU TAKE OUT THE TRASH?'' If you haven't said this both ways, then you get a gold star. Jerry Seinfeld says he didn't even know he had different tones till he got married.
Why do we do it? Usually because we're exasperated. Lack of patience would probably account for most of it. We might think our point will get across without the use of profanity, if we just use a more definitive tone. Some people use a fed-up tone whether its a 911 crisis or spilt milk.
Take a moment by yourself and examine how not only what you say but how you say it comes across to others. If you think it's uncontrollable, think of the tone you use in moments when you're not on pins and needles. So calm down, use that tone and you'll see the trash disappear faster than you would otherwise.